Saturday, February 6, 2010

Love Realization

I know Ron since childhood but we are into the relationship from some five years back.
Ron is an excellent Photographer by hobby but Software Engineer by profession,
I love him not only for his steady nature, but as a human being he is next to perfect.
I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.
His helping nature and smartness makes him different from others.
Four years of courtship and now, one year into deep relationship, I would have to admit,
that i am realizing that his helping nature is for outsiders only, not for his closed and loved ones.
I can understand that its practical in every sense as we are getting used to each other.
I know he loves me the most but I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before,
has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. . .

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive
when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl
yearning for candy. But Ron is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, expressions and the
inability of bringing romantic moments into our relation
disheartened me about love. One day, I finally decided
to tell him my decision, that I wanted to leave him, i want to break up.
Over the time he became intolerable to me. I cant take it any more.

"Why?" Ron asked, shocked. "I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered.
He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times.

My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can't even express his predicament,
what else can I hope from him?
And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody
said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly replied : "Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart,
I will change my mind, Let's say,
I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff,
and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?
Will u ??(I Whispered)

Ron thought for a while and then said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow..."
My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his small,scratchy but attractive
 handwriting, underneath a juice glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....

My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain
the reasons further.." This first line was already breaking my heart and i was getting sure that what
i have taken is a right decision.
I continued reading.
"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of
the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open
the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save
my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month, I have to
save my palms so that I can calm the cramps. You like to stay indoors, and
I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you
jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to
save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails,and help to remove
those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach,
as you enjoy the sunset and the beautiful sand... and tell you the colour of flowers,
just like the color of the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do...
I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. " My tears fell on the letter, and blurred
the ink of his handwriting. .... and as I continue on reading...

"Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front
door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh juice...

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands,
the juice bottle and loaf of bread...... Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as
much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away,
and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model,
it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used
and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands...
and that's our life...

Friday, January 22, 2010

Broken Heart

The moving picture came on my dream at 18th November 2009 (The darkest day of my Life) and i wish to share it with you.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Thanks for playing with my feelings

Thanks for playing with my feelings,
How i wish i could stop my heart from beating,
Thanks for playing with my heart,
At least to you this was a fun part,
you have left me broken,with my eyes filled with tears and fears,
At least you are whole,with smile on your face and not a sight of fear,
To you i was just a game,that you tried to win and succeeded,
Now that you are bored you've left me deserted,
Thanks for playing with my head,
Your sick little mind games,
You kept me guessing,till the very end,
Thanks for playing with my emotions,
According to you this was my weakness,
Thanks for your fake love,
Thanks for pretending that your cared,
Thanks for strengthening my belief,that LOVE is nothing but a pain causing pill,
Thanks for breaking my trust,for opening up,for sharing my thoughts,for placing my trust on an unknown soul,
Thanks for opening my eyes, u honestly showed me that Love is something that does not actually exist,
Thanks for showing me the right path,
A path where to help is to hurt,to love is to lie,to share is to sin,to smile is a crime,
Thanks for showing me,a man with a heart is not a man at all,
Thanks for proving that I'm a fool,to have trusted u,
I'll hate myself,till the very end,for loving u....